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codisimus

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codisimus

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codisimus's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML

#13963928
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35849) - you deserved it (4850)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was running the track at my school. My crush of two years was running in front of me, so I decided to catch up and finally talk to her. When I caught up, the only thing I could think to say was, "What's your name?" even though I already knew. She replied, "Natalie". Her name is Melissa. FML

#13902847
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29714) - you deserved it (6634)

On 11/19/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11757) - you deserved it (49780)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

#13738415
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (8778)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by anonymous_0505 (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my twin sister sent a nude picture to her boyfriend, who then forwarded it on to everyone else. Everyone else thinks it's me. FML

#13729352
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34288) - you deserved it (2657)

On 11/05/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by jsquared - United States (California)

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

#13634710
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (5879)

On 10/29/2010 at 1:48am - intimacy - by ohmylordy (man) - United States (California)

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

#13634710
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (5879)

On 10/29/2010 at 1:48am - intimacy - by ohmylordy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43619) - you deserved it (4615)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML

#13601859
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (4022)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12952) - you deserved it (35675)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11924) - you deserved it (45876)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (5543)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8569) - you deserved it (30009)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10982) - you deserved it (34695)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35745) - you deserved it (20896)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)



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