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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (36738)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33195) - you deserved it (4649)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2153)
On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)
Today, after 8 years in exceptionally difficult veterinarian classes which put me $200,000 in debt, and 7 months of job searching, I finally got a job. I will be inspecting feces for worms while making minimum wage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (3657)
On 07/09/2011 at 1:59am - work - by dsbass09 - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (2589)
On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (3941)
On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13004) - you deserved it (43909)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my mother won't give me any painkillers for my migraine. She believes that "When medicine goes into your stomach, the acids stop the medicine from working" and that "It's all in people's heads when medicine works". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11319) - you deserved it (863)
On 06/25/2011 at 8:58am - health - by Live02Dance - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9992) - you deserved it (34273)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39300) - you deserved it (4031)
On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)
Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (2403)
On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (1872)
On 06/02/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (4813)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8487) - you deserved it (55634)
On 04/16/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Today, after watching over my drunken mother all last night to make sure she didn't choke on her own vomit, I came to the conclusion that at the age of 53, she's more of a party animal than I ever will be. I'm a 22 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (3591)
On 04/15/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by ForeverAlone (man) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
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