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cobrasparks

Offline (the 12/20/2014 at 5:16am) | Search for a member

cobrasparks

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 May 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2477
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>DanielT1994</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 12:47pm

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cobrasparks's favorite FMLs

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

#21319263
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (9993)

On 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm - health - by Recovering Alcoholic - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (5475)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (2205)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

#21317150
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31368) - you deserved it (2346)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

#21316969
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (3685)

On 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

#21316839
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31261) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/13/2014 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29880) - you deserved it (2761)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (2456)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26910) - you deserved it (4996)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (3837)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (5142)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (2651)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (3219)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

#21313940
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (2053)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm - misc - by blech (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38624) - you deserved it (2234)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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