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cmchewy

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 1:36am) | Search for a member

cmchewy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 733
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cmchewy : Chill :] Sometimes I just troll lol

cmchewy's page activity

Visits<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:51pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:58am<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:04am<b>rjberger1853</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:36pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:06pm<b>iksmuh</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:28am<b>Davids9199</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:14pm<b>capslockisgood</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 11:24pm<b>jimmy_poison</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 5:51pm<b>Pwib</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:12am<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:04am<b>terryaly</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:30am<b>rosiexoxo12</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Colorguardlife_t</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:30pm<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 10:43am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:57pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Cely988</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 5:17am

cmchewy's FML badges

Consolation prize

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50 favourites

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Socialite

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See all of cmchewy's badges

cmchewy's favorite FMLs

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49916) - you deserved it (18151)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a family reunion. I laughed at my uncle's Sylvester Stallone impression. Turns out he had a stroke a while back. FML

#21066428
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35262) - you deserved it (14961)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by heyadrian - United States (California)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51597) - you deserved it (11550)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57420) - you deserved it (6947)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (20455)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

#21008014
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (4696)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:42am - love - by rokkstarrrVRV (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40718) - you deserved it (41289)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62035) - you deserved it (4041)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

#20925665
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (4500) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by Huedadaa - France (Picardie)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (3591)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48880) - you deserved it (6609)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33935) - you deserved it (28945)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61222) - you deserved it (25710)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61477) - you deserved it (7219)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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