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cmayer's favorite FMLs
Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
by perfectlybrokenx / 08/24/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by emilygreeny / 06/18/2010 at 1:42am / United States / Health
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
by boner / 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML
by ObeseCaveDweller / 01/16/2010 at 2:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by SpaceAstronaut / 12/28/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by dumbdad / 12/28/2009 at 2:30am / United States (California) / Animals
by samgonzalessb / 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML
by Stressmess / 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, I encountered one of my professors from college. Back when I was in his game theory class, he publicly criticized me for falling asleep and not paying attention, to which I retaliated by acing all of his exams. Four years and a degree later, I met him again... while working at Pizza Hut. FML
by mylifeisfed / 11/04/2009 at 7:56am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earned selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was delivered already, and the money needs to be turned in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my neighbors are eating. FML
by ifyouseekmylife / 10/25/2009 at 11:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by loveless / 10/18/2009 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML
by coolchicka05 / 10/06/2009 at 4:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…