cmayer

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Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 8:39am)

cmayer

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5656
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cmayer : .

cmayer's page activity

Visits<b>tismael</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:28pm<b>uz101</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:40pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 11:46am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 6:17am<b>mondesno</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:18am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 11:46am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:47am<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:15pm<b>10220706</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:26am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>ILOLAtYourLife19</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:46pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:08pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:45pm<b>sydmeister99</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:56pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Erin2009</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 12:52pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:16am

cmayer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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cmayer's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

by fuckyoutoo / 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm / Romania (Cluj) / Work

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

by oh gee, you don't say / 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

by scaredinnyc / 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:39am / Australia (Tasmania) / Love

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

by madmomma / 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

by andromeda80 / 03/28/2012 at 9:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

by me / 03/14/2012 at 11:19am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Money