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cmayer

Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 8:39am) | Search for a member

cmayer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3060
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cmayer : .

cmayer's page activity

Visits<b>garage</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 7:04pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 3:08pm<b>gunzerker</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:03am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:16pm<b>noxiffic</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Phaeno</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:42am<b>yodaman9910</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:09pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:16am<b>knotcool</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 8:19am<b>Valdrek</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:57pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:57am<b>pitapizzaparty</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:50pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:14pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:23pm<b>Ninjawalker115</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:53pm<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:53am<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:29pm

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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cmayer's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML

#20560431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35674) - you deserved it (9247)

On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (6678)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

#20559804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41652) - you deserved it (2474)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

#20559802
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (2301)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (6673)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (4120)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10390) - you deserved it (62908)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (6989)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36751) - you deserved it (2920)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

#20559208
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (5532)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33273) - you deserved it (5818)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33292) - you deserved it (4469)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32551) - you deserved it (10972)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (5900)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)



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