cmayer

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Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 8:39am)

cmayer

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5955
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cmayer : .

cmayer's page activity

Visits<b>Sj1147</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 9:16am<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 3:52pm<b>sjb_2015</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:29pm<b>tismael</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:28pm<b>uz101</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:40pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 11:46am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 6:17am<b>mondesno</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:18am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 11:46am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:47am<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:15pm<b>10220706</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:26am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>ILOLAtYourLife19</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:46pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:08pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:45pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:16am

cmayer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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cmayer's favorite FMLs

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

by dumb tourists / 03/31/2013 at 2:19am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

by Badam / 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

by Hahamaster333 / 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

by apparentlytoougly / 03/27/2013 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

by first time at McDonald's in months... / 03/27/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Health

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

by holycommander / 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

by Megan / 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm / United States / Love

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

by anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:54am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:22am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

by Candycane88 / 03/26/2013 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

by SwinginSolo / 03/26/2013 at 8:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

by bear / 03/26/2013 at 7:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids