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cmayer

Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 8:39am) | Search for a member

cmayer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2385
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cmayer : .

cmayer's page activity

Visits<b>Ninjawalker115</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:53pm<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:53am<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:29pm<b>Sludge3</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:50am<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 10:22pm<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:52pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:48am<b>thischick113</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 2:36am<b>TeamTurnUp</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:19am<b>Kalipczo</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:04pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:12am<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:40am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:09am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Marley_000</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:56am<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:25am<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:54pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:26am

cmayer's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cmayer's badges

cmayer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51539) - you deserved it (18760)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67173) - you deserved it (8849)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (43483)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47431) - you deserved it (5883)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (63273) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48141) - you deserved it (10134)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41742) - you deserved it (19899)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49193) - you deserved it (6452)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49367) - you deserved it (5706)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

#20722079
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43218) - you deserved it (6708)

On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49485) - you deserved it (4953)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34752) - you deserved it (71527)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

#20716353
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39525) - you deserved it (7185)

On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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