About cmayer : If you message me, please don't be creepy. I'm too awkward for creepy people.
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Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41662) - you deserved it (3621)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States
Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21357) - you deserved it (43152)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (6546)
On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)
Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47813) - you deserved it (3640)
On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17565) - you deserved it (41077)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32472) - you deserved it (60596)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44779) - you deserved it (7493)
On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57437) - you deserved it (6641)
On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47703) - you deserved it (3364)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38678) - you deserved it (4070)
On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19292) - you deserved it (30878)
On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47445) - you deserved it (2970)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (4317)
On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (35547)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15810) - you deserved it (35325)
On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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