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clm123455

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clm123455

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  • Number of visits : 1637
  • Number of comments : 128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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clm123455's favorite FMLs

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17132) - you deserved it (29435)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

#19166508
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14192) - you deserved it (26453)

On 02/26/2012 at 8:53am - kids - by unknown - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML

#19166292
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (4669)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:28am - animals - by katams - United States

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (5478)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (2839)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28618) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

#19164325
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10159) - you deserved it (24264)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by KMO - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

#19164002
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (5101)

On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (7757)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

#19149588
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26242) - you deserved it (2086)

On 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9100) - you deserved it (28327)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (5859)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (2557)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

#19139199
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30251) - you deserved it (4010)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11396) - you deserved it (36650)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)



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