cld_91

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cld_91

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 148
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cld_91 : Oh hi I'm Chelsy :3

cld_91's page activity

Visits<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:44am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 12/10/2011 at 1:46pm

cld_91's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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cld_91's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

by fiftyshardsofbroccoli / 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

by daddydaughterWTF / 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML

by kissrocks4 / 04/11/2012 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (Armagh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

by Vince / 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

by Surprisebuttsecks? / 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 12:23am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 1:36am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

by inpain / 12/02/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Animals