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cld_91

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cld_91

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 73
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cld_91 : Oh hi I'm Chelsy :3

cld_91's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 5:30am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 12/10/2011 at 1:46pm

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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cld_91's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (2494)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

#19997087
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22218) - you deserved it (2116)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm - love - by daddydaughterWTF - United States (Florida)

Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML

#19448000
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (2652)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:04am - health - by kissrocks4 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26251) - you deserved it (6167)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23154) - you deserved it (52910)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13856) - you deserved it (23987)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31657) - you deserved it (27376)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (18295)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (2809)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35161) - you deserved it (6625)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41765) - you deserved it (10846)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41002) - you deserved it (16578)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

#18409440
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26335) - you deserved it (2484)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21810) - you deserved it (5559)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

#18384593
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14935) - you deserved it (22976)

On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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