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clancey6's favorite FMLs
by chacha / 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States / Intimacy
by Pwnedofthedead / 10/03/2009 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
by lebanesewoman / 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm / Hong Kong / Kids
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, at an elementary school a girl showed me her grandma's obituary in the paper and started crying. To stop her from crying I made things out of the rest of the paper, later she asked me where her grandma's obituary was. I accidentally made it into a hat, with lots of tape. FML
by thechad_144 / 06/01/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
by kaichennnxx / 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
by SalonGirl / 03/10/2009 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by #201 / 02/05/2009 at 8:23am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by j4y / 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes…