About cjammer : Military wife. Aspiring author. Cynical, sarcastic. Fat. Fat as in, woah, that's a huuuuge bitch, but I'm slowly and steadily working on it (-34lbs in 3 months so far). NIN and Slipknot have a rather coincidental and stalkerish habit of writing about my life...which is just as well, because Trent and Corey are gods. Football, hockey and paintball are the best sports ever to be invented. I'm a hardcore gamer, and none of that WOW shit. Give me a pink XBox controller, and I will tear your ass in any FPS you put in. I'm disgustingly obsessed with the Playboy bunny. I'm on a never-ending mission to rid the world of stereotypes, hatred and ignorance, one person at a time. No, I don't wear contacts. Yes, that is a freckle on my nose. And I'm 99% sure someone hacked my account in the past couple days because I definitely haven't attempted to post 18 FMLs since the last time I was on.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6003) - you deserved it (27152)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31865) - you deserved it (3034)
On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8080) - you deserved it (18210)
On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (2621)
On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (6551)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (5495)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (8325)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10049) - you deserved it (88422)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52326) - you deserved it (20582)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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