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cj18494

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cj18494

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cj18494's favorite FMLs

Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML

#18565836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29803) - you deserved it (2520)

On 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm - work - by Thomas - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

#18563355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (4933)

On 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm - love - by tommy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (5416)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, I had to sit and listen to my co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tiring skiing is. FML

#18560117
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (2019)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:54am - work - by dogwheels - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes. FML

#18559949
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (6074)

On 12/20/2011 at 5:43am - misc - by milly - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (5092)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

#18557355
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (6085)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by BKCK4187 - United States

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11444) - you deserved it (28690)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33079) - you deserved it (6432)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40450) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I fainted due to the excitement. He took it as a "no" and won't pick up my calls. FML

#18547222
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (3881)

On 12/18/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13711) - you deserved it (26398)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15134) - you deserved it (38946)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)



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