cj18494

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cj18494

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  • Number of visits : 3427
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cj18494's favorite FMLs

Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML

by WayTooMuchFacebook / 02/04/2012 at 12:07am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

by deadhamster / 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm / United States / Animals

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2012 at 2:58am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Kids

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

by coleslaw / 02/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

by Sam / 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

by insomnia / 12/22/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Work

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

by insomnia / 12/22/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Work

Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML

by JackSteely / 12/22/2011 at 7:04am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

by Jean / 12/22/2011 at 3:09am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

by sninapeters / 12/22/2011 at 12:31am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

by tacoboy27 / 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

by Nicki / 12/21/2011 at 7:30am / Canada / Intimacy