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cj18494

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cj18494

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  • Number of visits : 2659
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cj18494's favorite FMLs

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

#19101039
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (1692)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

#19095888
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (2297)

On 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Tay - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (5047)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States

Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

#19097249
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23779) - you deserved it (2636)

On 02/16/2012 at 6:30pm - kids - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43343) - you deserved it (2833)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30289) - you deserved it (4426)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

#19092499
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (3437)

On 02/16/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Jeathrow - United States (California)

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (4120)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (2683)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

#19087811
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30699) - you deserved it (1801)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (2487)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (3044)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML

#19073057
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (5989)

On 02/14/2012 at 10:32am - love - by crazytown62 - United States

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

#19072252
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (4968)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (2767)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States



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