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cj18494

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cj18494

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  • Number of visits : 2601
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cj18494's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25658) - you deserved it (8131)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML

#19125744
203 comments

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26252) - you deserved it (4057)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

#19122192
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (7662)

On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

#19121013
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8367) - you deserved it (40370)

On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

#19119481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22422) - you deserved it (5854)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML

#19118368
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14797) - you deserved it (51847)

On 02/19/2012 at 10:00pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (3493)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28043) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29252) - you deserved it (4627)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (4105)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

#19113390
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (3498)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38154) - you deserved it (7830)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

#19105886
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (3760)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35238) - you deserved it (5465)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States



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