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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 29440
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About citylights : i love you,

citylights's page activity

Visits<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 2:00am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 4:21pm<b>xXSunshineXx1</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 8:43am<b>syntheticcarbon</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 7:36pm<b>hare</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 4:32am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 9:00pm<b>gar2014</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 1:55am<b>aelabed</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 12:59am<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 8:47am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 8:36am<b>carrieboz</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:33pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 11:33am<b>matman82</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 8:36pm<b>Willman757</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:10am<b>Survii</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:18am<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 9:09am<b>JazzlaWazz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 1:39pm<b>Jxce</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 3:10am

Fucked!<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 8:00am<b>aelabed</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 6:59am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 7:23am<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 2:47pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 3:09pm<b>Jxce</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 9:11am<b>CallMeACanadian</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 11:41pm<b>george_s_4</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 2:41pm<b>masschris</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:42pm<b>Montiphelia</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:15pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:14pm<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 4:34pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:16am<b>shadow42</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:44pm<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 9:03am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:07pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:08pm<b>applecrusher</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 4:19pm

citylights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

citylights's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

by pistonchamp159 / 08/28/2009 at 3:51am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

by TheBRADLeyB / 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

by phreshrice / 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

by saltynutz20 / 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 11:51am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

by GT716 / 04/07/2009 at 8:50am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

by Brastro / 04/07/2009 at 7:46am / Ireland (Kildare) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML

by nextstopplz / 04/07/2009 at 4:47am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some cheez-its I had in my room. After I had enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML

by hungry / 04/05/2009 at 11:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

by blehhh / 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

by aprilfooled / 04/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2009 at 10:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

by lisa321 / 04/01/2009 at 10:36pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous