About cinnamania : I like to scare people ( :
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40387) - you deserved it (5367)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46728) - you deserved it (12013)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97298) - you deserved it (56321)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14824) - you deserved it (43392)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18273) - you deserved it (58277)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (5957)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41381) - you deserved it (2590)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11215) - you deserved it (38511)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
I agree, your life sucks (76984) - you deserved it (2747)
On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (48371)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45856) - you deserved it (81882)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55759) - you deserved it (6610)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by lifesux17 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40796) - you deserved it (1733)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - intimacy - by Sleeper_C3ll (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11403) - you deserved it (8217)
On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4882) - you deserved it (21631)
On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
