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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 931
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cicatrice : Picture is Hedy Lamarr

cicatrice's page activity

Visits<b>JoshArson</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 4:51am<b>ECraine</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:47am<b>kenji212</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:00pm<b>cgchamp89</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 7:29pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 10/07/2011 at 10:21pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/19/2011 at 5:12pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b>azurewave</b> - the 08/28/2011 at 1:47am<b>rose79325</b> - the 08/28/2011 at 12:11am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 3:12pm<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 08/16/2011 at 10:33pm<b>ImFrackinBored</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 2:28pm<b>FeliciaDHU</b> - the 07/10/2011 at 5:06pm

cicatrice's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


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cicatrice's favorite FMLs

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

by Hailey Antone / 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

by Angie / 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm / France / Love

Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML

by minimoonpie / 09/07/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

by b3ardown23 / 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

by girlsx2mom / 08/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

by TheJazzKid / 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

by Andrew / 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work

Today, while waiting for a doctors appointment, my husband started playing angry birds. Continually losing the game ended up raising his blood pressure to the point where he now has to have his medication changed. The new medication is $100 copay. FML

by Username / 08/26/2011 at 8:20pm / United States / Health

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

by MissArizona / 08/08/2011 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant when I knocked my glass of ice water over. In my attempt to clean it up with a napkin, I knocked a freshly filled cup of coffee all over myself. FML

by evilwater / 07/15/2011 at 1:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work