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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53169) - you deserved it (5383)
On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12680) - you deserved it (56199)
On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34338) - you deserved it (79635)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462104) - you deserved it (574046)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55747) - you deserved it (24214)
On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (48478)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178270) - you deserved it (61514)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40581) - you deserved it (6413)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (82069) - you deserved it (4352)
On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35166) - you deserved it (5006)
On 12/21/2008 at 8:44pm - intimacy - by HeatoN - Germany (Berlin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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