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chwder912

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chwder912

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1189
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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chwder912's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:26pm<b>Ashley07</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 6:20pm<b>farmgirl</b> - the 12/19/2009 at 2:29am<b>dudeitsdanny</b> - the 12/19/2009 at 12:49am

chwder912's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

chwder912's favorite FMLs

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (2195)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

#8122396
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17287) - you deserved it (2480)

On 02/11/2010 at 4:09am - intimacy - by stewiesclone - United States

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (4499)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

#7780958
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33040) - you deserved it (3610)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10881) - you deserved it (31859)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (4627)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31636) - you deserved it (6374)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

#7603599
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37808) - you deserved it (3864)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62825) - you deserved it (6220)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12178) - you deserved it (25173)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (6906)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9182) - you deserved it (42652)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (7832)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30652) - you deserved it (7738)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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