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chwder912

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chwder912
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1083
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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chwder912's last visitors

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chwder912's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

chwder912's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15941) - you deserved it (40261)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

#15791793
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28888) - you deserved it (7034)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27141) - you deserved it (5076)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45967) - you deserved it (4141)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

#14944563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9837) - you deserved it (36813)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

#14531050
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (1949)

On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (7173)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML

#14458988
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (3259)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (9474)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML

#14126136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5696) - you deserved it (23197)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

#14085005
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18533) - you deserved it (4614)

On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

#14079841
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24366) - you deserved it (9644)

On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

#13855888
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13474) - you deserved it (25234)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)



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