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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (2987)
On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago "told her that I was cheating on her," telepathically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27912) - you deserved it (249)
On 10/30/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by iGotSkill (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (3492)
On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6705) - you deserved it (11864)
On 10/30/2009 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by man (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7449) - you deserved it (37877)
On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (3000)
On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am - misc - by TheSublime (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30935) - you deserved it (4860)
On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (5131)
On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (36325)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to my company's HR manager to ask what the procedure was to file a sexual harassment complaint since my boss exposed himself to me. His response was that the procedure is to "get over it." And he went back to reading. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34014) - you deserved it (2956)
On 10/18/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by dyingtinkerbell (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (1390)
On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)
Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (5182)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24742) - you deserved it (3885)
Today, I learned that my car alarm only goes off if the car is unlocked a bit forcibly. Doesn't make a sound when some prick breaks the window out in the middle of the night to steal my cd player. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22036) - you deserved it (1317)
On 10/16/2009 at 5:23am - misc - by Hardsleeper - United States (Texas)
Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30707) - you deserved it (504)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:44am - animals - by Halloweenie (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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