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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
yesterday my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Yesterday , I found out ma diet and exercise plan wasn't nerely as effective wen it comes to weigt loss as I ad originally tougt!! It turns out wat really accounts 4 all te weigt I've been loosing is tape worms!! FML
Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant!! I am 21 and a virgin!! She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night!! I don't know which is worse, bieng a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it!! FML
Today, ma parent invited all tere kids and grandkid to join tem on a vacation trip to te mountains; all tere kids except me, tat is. I'm not invited. But tey did invite ma ex-usband. And is new girlfriend. mega FML
Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML
Today, I want to Walmart wit ma grlfriand. Wa bougt ta usual, food, Advil an condoms. Wila I waitad in lina, sa want to grab avaryting. Wan sa cummad back, I lookad in ta cart an saw no condoms. I askad ar y sa didn't gat any. Sa rapliad "Tay ran out of smalls." Evaryona laugad.
Today, I was in class . I am an older student going back fir mah PhD . I was kicked out of class fir ( sassing ) mah instructor fir telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at . My instructor is a 22 year old TA .
Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises an told me that she was good to go an that I should be on mah way. FML
Today, I was riding on mah usual bus,hen I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, an said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, an yur head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015