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chuckster2005

Offline (the 12/15/2014 at 5:41am) | Search for a member

chuckster2005

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  • Number of visits : 349
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chuckster2005's page activity

Visits<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:32am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:00am<b>w_pony_4ever</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:54pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:54pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:59pm<b>LeBrownTown</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:42pm<b>injuredathlete</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 10:33pm

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chuckster2005's favorite FMLs

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15048) - you deserved it (28462)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29140) - you deserved it (2817) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30480) - you deserved it (3547)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17413) - you deserved it (29795)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

#19035174
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30996) - you deserved it (17287)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (3622)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (9311)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21592) - you deserved it (9656)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35873) - you deserved it (10160)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16109) - you deserved it (23546)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16510) - you deserved it (52698)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (4960)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33459) - you deserved it (5426)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)



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