About chubbybunny963 : Have a wonderful day!!
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Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57605) - you deserved it (8161)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66207) - you deserved it (8128)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14759) - you deserved it (7346)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5386) - you deserved it (26380)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18579) - you deserved it (5209)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13968) - you deserved it (4415)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35777) - you deserved it (1345)
On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)
Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48436) - you deserved it (1782)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16921) - you deserved it (1085)
On 10/19/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by NoorFML - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (7628)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (21129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you deserved it (106490)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11785) - you deserved it (23527)
On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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