About christyxbee : Engaged. Likes cats. Hates spiders. Loves butterflies. Misses her brother dearly in heaven.
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Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17104) - you deserved it (1528)
On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17104) - you deserved it (1528)
On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15475) - you deserved it (4084)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16535) - you deserved it (2157)
On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6277) - you deserved it (23121)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36961) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (7133)
On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31298) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31298) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (1710)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8398) - you deserved it (49749)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (4264)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12320) - you deserved it (3636)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm - kids - by jessye1182 - United States (New York)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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