Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

christyxbee

Offline (yesterday at 10:44pm) | Search for a member

christyxbee

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 October 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7867
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About christyxbee : Engaged. Likes cats. Hates spiders. Loves butterflies. Misses her brother dearly in heaven.

christyxbee's page activity

Visits<b>Goodliife</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 6:29am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:06pm<b>Incroyalzz</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:47pm<b>Stripez234</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:59pm<b>sparkus</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 6:15am<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:52am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 12:25am<b>constipation</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 5:03pm<b>SAspring</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:44am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 4:52pm<b>yocray</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Ragatyme</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:17pm<b>colinabi</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:21pm<b>AmeliaTxxx</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:26pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:10pm<b>PerfectDude</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:27pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:25am<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 3:10am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 11:05am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:29pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:39pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:03pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:17am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 5:56pm

christyxbee's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of christyxbee's badges

christyxbee's favorite FMLs

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

#20443594
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11474) - you deserved it (26608)

On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (2670)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (4484)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52140) - you deserved it (6512)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (4149)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22631) - you deserved it (4702)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18564) - you deserved it (29835)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (4681) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12098) - you deserved it (27442)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (1504)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (7571)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: