About christyxbee : Engaged. Likes cats. Hates spiders. Loves butterflies. Misses her brother dearly in heaven.
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christyxbee's favorite FMLs
by rc2981 / 06/13/2014 at 6:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love
by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML
by sad but true. / 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/12/2014 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy
by jessierules93 / 12/07/2013 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by lbg2msf / 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals
by pathetic / 11/06/2013 at 8:04am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by maddie / 11/06/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
by :/ / 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…