About christyxbee : Engaged. Likes cats. Hates spiders. Loves butterflies. Misses her brother dearly in heaven.
christyxbee's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
christyxbee's favorite FMLs
by rc2981 / 06/13/2014 at 6:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love
by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML
by sad but true. / 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/12/2014 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy
by jessierules93 / 12/07/2013 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by lbg2msf / 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals
by pathetic / 11/06/2013 at 8:04am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by maddie / 11/06/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
by :/ / 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…