Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

christyxbee

Offline (the 11/26/2014 at 12:11am) | Search for a member

christyxbee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4581
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About christyxbee : Engaged. Likes cats. Hates spiders. Loves butterflies. Misses her brother dearly in heaven.

christyxbee's page activity

Visits<b>parkerhicks__</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:08am<b>MRP360</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:33am<b>ChloeFrance</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:50am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:25pm<b>bruh2357</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:14pm<b>weekendhero</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:00pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:04pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:09pm<b>IAreBox</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:17am<b>WadeNickerson</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:29pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:19pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:41am<b>guru_nanak51</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:28pm<b>ama1735</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:12am<b>xxxxnikkix</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 3:20pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:21am<b>tengo</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:10pm<b>AwkwardPartyBear</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:40am

christyxbee's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of christyxbee's badges

christyxbee's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52076) - you deserved it (4707)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36094) - you deserved it (8467)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50534) - you deserved it (7445)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50963) - you deserved it (5321)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43633) - you deserved it (8828)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

#20947507
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33234) - you deserved it (20254)

On 11/06/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54509) - you deserved it (6900)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37977) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (7294)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (5370)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40859) - you deserved it (2431)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

#20868484
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36583) - you deserved it (6420)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:57am - work - by Retarded (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39795) - you deserved it (4404)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46511) - you deserved it (3664)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: