Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

christyxbee

Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 12:23am) | Search for a member

christyxbee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4768
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About christyxbee : Engaged. Likes cats. Hates spiders. Loves butterflies. Misses her brother dearly in heaven.

christyxbee's page activity

Visits<b>osr215</b> - yesterday at 11:07am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:51am<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:14pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 9:22am<b>parkerhicks__</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:08am<b>MRP360</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:33am<b>ChloeFrance</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:50am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:25pm<b>bruh2357</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:14pm<b>weekendhero</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:00pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:04pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:09pm<b>IAreBox</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:17am<b>WadeNickerson</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:29pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:19pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:41am<b>guru_nanak51</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:28pm<b>ama1735</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:12am

christyxbee's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of christyxbee's badges

christyxbee's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42277) - you deserved it (10719)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (18236)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

#21253019
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44030) - you deserved it (3319)

On 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by StillPissedOffAtIrony (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (3823)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37612) - you deserved it (6752)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41214) - you deserved it (8848)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (36541)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40888) - you deserved it (4565)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38541) - you deserved it (6630)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69019) - you deserved it (5454)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: