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christyxbee

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christyxbee
  • Town/Country : San Fransisco, California, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 October 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 3451
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About christyxbee : Engaged. Likes cats. Hates spiders. Loves butterflies. Misses her brother dearly in heaven.

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christyxbee's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (8824)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (5355)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42261) - you deserved it (3688)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32207) - you deserved it (7547)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37710) - you deserved it (5230)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

#20983492
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you deserved it (3955)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:58am - misc - by jessierules93 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45653) - you deserved it (3913)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40219) - you deserved it (7938)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

#20947507
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31742) - you deserved it (19448)

On 11/06/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51688) - you deserved it (6483)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35974) - you deserved it (2942)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (6796)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40600) - you deserved it (5165)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38081) - you deserved it (2070)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

#20868484
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33935) - you deserved it (6071)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:57am - work - by Retarded (woman) - United States (Florida)



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