chrissymari

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chrissymari

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3668
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About chrissymari : All things bright and beautiful.

chrissymari's page activity

Visits<b>pferg33</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 2:34pm<b>icyhottt</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 2:45pm<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 1:57am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 3:30am<b>ohdannyboyy</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 7:34pm<b>BridgieLou19</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 7:17pm<b>Sweet_Meli</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 5:20pm<b>150493x</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 4:21pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:26am<b>lspartz</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 10:48pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:32pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 8:15pm<b>CersaBaby843</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 7:33pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 4:44pm<b>dlowry004</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 5:37pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 2:32pm<b>SydneyJC</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 1:00am

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chrissymari's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

by shelbylove115 / 02/22/2013 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

by Sigh / 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

by SchoolSucks / 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

by tongue tied / 02/11/2013 at 3:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

by mr_loveless / 02/11/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Love

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

by djxerxes9000 / 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm / Canada / Work

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love