chrissymari

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chrissymari

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3275
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About chrissymari : All things bright and beautiful.

chrissymari's page activity

Visits<b>pferg33</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 2:34pm<b>icyhottt</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 2:45pm<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 1:57am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 3:30am<b>ohdannyboyy</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 7:34pm<b>BridgieLou19</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 7:17pm<b>Sweet_Meli</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 5:20pm<b>150493x</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 4:21pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:26am<b>lspartz</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 10:48pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:32pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 8:15pm<b>CersaBaby843</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 7:33pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 4:44pm<b>dlowry004</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 5:37pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 2:32pm<b>SydneyJC</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 1:00am

chrissymari's FML badges

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chrissymari's favorite FMLs

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 12:44am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

by sugarysofalof / 06/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

by future burger flipper / 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

by wtf mom / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Love