About chrissymari : All things bright and beautiful.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40273) - you deserved it (2685)
On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37316) - you deserved it (4744)
On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (2239)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58698) - you deserved it (5766)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32407) - you deserved it (24043)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by sugarysofalof - United States (Colorado)
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (60267)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49521) - you deserved it (8250)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm - love - by lsababy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47126) - you deserved it (9627)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27341) - you deserved it (58321)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)
Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51700) - you deserved it (4714)
On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50000) - you deserved it (13606)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47878) - you deserved it (2431)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29257) - you deserved it (3396)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (5176)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39654) - you deserved it (3951)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
