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chriskaufkauf

Offline (the 08/22/2014 at 1:11am) | Search for a member

chriskaufkauf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 168
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chriskaufkauf : I like hangin out wif
friends, playin soccer and and fuckin girls

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chriskaufkauf's favorite FMLs

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51646) - you deserved it (6625)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57646) - you deserved it (7994)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50384) - you deserved it (8706)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49708) - you deserved it (6066)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50675) - you deserved it (9286)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57551) - you deserved it (6957)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59556) - you deserved it (25829)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68325) - you deserved it (9013)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65707) - you deserved it (18729)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55941) - you deserved it (32915)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67285) - you deserved it (5639)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56395) - you deserved it (4771)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38646) - you deserved it (9277)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26474) - you deserved it (43512)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35001) - you deserved it (5938)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico



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