About chrisbreastr0kr : My name is because I am a swimmer and train 5 hours a day, not because I am a pervert. I enjoy airsofting with my friends, and I am a music major.
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chrisbreastr0kr's favorite FMLs
Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML
by mhmm... cumsquats / 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm / Belgium (Brabant) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 11:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 12:08am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Intimacy
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by katelynm / 02/08/2013 at 1:24am / United States / Love
Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML
by chattyloz / 02/07/2013 at 7:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by fviz / 02/07/2013 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:12am / United States / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was… Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering… Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was…
- Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…