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chrisbreastr0kr

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chrisbreastr0kr

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About chrisbreastr0kr : My name is because I am a swimmer and train 5 hours a day, not because I am a pervert. I am engaged with my girlfriend of 7 years, and we are both Christians. I enjoy airsofting with my friends, and both of us are music majors.

chrisbreastr0kr's page activity

Visits<b>BBlah</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Federgirl</b> - yesterday at 2:17pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:41am<b>SweetSwede</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:40pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:57pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:03pm<b>BlingBang</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 3:38pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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chrisbreastr0kr's favorite FMLs

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

#20508810
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42093) - you deserved it (2767) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

#20507650
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (9981)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12838) - you deserved it (40348)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (8064)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25075) - you deserved it (10702)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40425) - you deserved it (4535)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32427) - you deserved it (5044)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8705) - you deserved it (50187)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (2614)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38448) - you deserved it (7841)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41357) - you deserved it (3394)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31489) - you deserved it (3908)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (27249)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (9494)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML

#20500397
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26214) - you deserved it (2289)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by chillyinside - Canada



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