Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

chrisbreastr0kr

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

chrisbreastr0kr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2298
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About chrisbreastr0kr : My name is because I am a swimmer and train 5 hours a day, not because I am a pervert. I enjoy airsofting with my friends, and I am a music major.

chrisbreastr0kr's page activity

Visits<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:21pm<b>FuentezFam</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:04pm<b>sailing_is_life</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 9:51pm<b>jks0308</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:24pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:50pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:52am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:28pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:00am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:57pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:03pm<b>BlingBang</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 3:38pm

chrisbreastr0kr's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of chrisbreastr0kr's badges

chrisbreastr0kr's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I FOUND OUT GIRLFRIEND CAN DO HEATH LEDGER'S "JOKER" VOICE PERFECTLY. I'M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD BE SCARED OR IMPRESSED. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (6380)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster . He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged . Turns out I'd left mah wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it . mega FML

#20528351
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (41540)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

TODAY, I WENT TO A PAINTBALL MATCH WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS, ONE OF WHOM BROUGHT HIS DAD ALONG. HIS DAD IS A WIEGHT-LIFTING, WANNABE ALPHA MALE FUCKNUT WHO THINKS THAT CHOKESLAMMING OPPONENTS IS A LEGITIMATE CLOSE-QUARTERS PAINTBALL TACTIC. MY BROKEN SHOULDER DISAGREES. FML

#20528184
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38550) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

TODAY, I WAS TAKING MAH DOG FIR A WALK AN FORGOT A BAG TO PICK UP HIS POOP, SINCE IT'S ILLEGAL TO NOT PICK IT UP IN MAH TOWN. RIGHT AS MAH DOG STARTED TO TAKE A DUMP, A COP CAR DROVE BY AN CONTINUED TO WATCH ME AS I WAS FORCED TO PICK UP THE POOP WITH MAH BARE HANDS. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (21021)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

yesterday I was making out with mah girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to mah crotch. She felt mah erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig fir "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5587)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

yesterday I was making out with mah girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to mah crotch. She felt mah erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig fir "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5587)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (6781) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today... I had to sneak out of work early to pick mah 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found coverd in Astroglide... racing each other down the corridor on there bellies. My boss noticd mah absence from work... and now mah son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (8784)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing an showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (5280)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I dacidd to surprisa ma boyfriand by quiatly undrassing and snaaking into ta batroom to join im in ta sowar . Ha was bant ovar taking a dump, pusing is turd down ta plugola . FML

#20524189
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (6065)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got stuck in traffichan a shootout startad somawhara bahind. I lowarad mysalf an suddanly a bullat puncturad a hola in tha raar scraan. Whan I managad to gat away, I callad my wifa in a panic. Sha didn't pick up so I sant har a taxt abouthat just happanad. Har raply: looool "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56338) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I got stuck in traffichan a shootout startad somawhara bahind. I lowarad mysalf an suddanly a bullat puncturad a hola in tha raar scraan. Whan I managad to gat away, I callad my wifa in a panic. Sha didn't pick up so I sant har a taxt abouthat just happanad. Har raply: looool "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56338) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, At Mah Mother's Funeral, As Everyone Was Around Her Casket 4 The Viewing, Mah 5-year-old Son In Cluelessness Of What Was Going On Shouted, "Grandma Is More Fun When She Isn't Sleeping." Everyone Cried!! FML

#20521929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41224) - you deserved it (3411)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY... MY FIANCÉ IS RETURNING OME... SO I DECIDED TO WAX MYSELF... TINKING TINGS WOULD GET INTIMATE. I WARMED TE WAX STRIPS AN SET TEM ON TE COUNTER. OUR CAT JUMPED ONTO TE COUNTER AN MANAGED TO ROLL ONTO ONE OF TE STRIPS. SUFFICE TO SAY... TE WRONG PUSSY GOT A PAINFUL WAXING. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45181) - you deserved it (7340)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband an children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil an barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28210) - you deserved it (4113)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: