chrisbreastr0kr

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chrisbreastr0kr

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4573
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About chrisbreastr0kr : My name is because I am a swimmer and train 5 hours a day, not because I am a pervert. I enjoy airsofting with my friends, and I am a music major.

chrisbreastr0kr's page activity

Visits<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 10:30pm<b>carliefrederick</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:15pm<b>harmonyluver</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:46pm<b>sam882</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:27am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 10:49am<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:21pm<b>FuentezFam</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:04pm<b>sailing_is_life</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 9:51pm<b>jks0308</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:24pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:50pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:52am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:28pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:00am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:57pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:03pm<b>BlingBang</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 3:38pm

Fucked!<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 4:30am

chrisbreastr0kr's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of chrisbreastr0kr's badges

chrisbreastr0kr's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

by marcymoo / 03/11/2013 at 12:09am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

by lolk / 03/10/2013 at 3:41am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

by ShittyWalls / 03/09/2013 at 8:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

by Will this stupid fad ever end? / 03/06/2013 at 6:51am / United States / Work

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

by married an old man / 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

by is there a environmental scientist in the house? / 03/05/2013 at 3:48am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML

by ihatemakingnames / 03/04/2013 at 7:41pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work