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chrisbreastr0kr

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chrisbreastr0kr

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 789
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About chrisbreastr0kr : My name is because I am a swimmer and train 5 hours a day, not because I am a pervert. I am engaged with my girlfriend of 7 years, and we are both Christians. I enjoy airsofting with my friends, and both of us are music majors.

chrisbreastr0kr's page activity

Visits<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:52am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:28pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:00am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:17pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:41am<b>SweetSwede</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:40pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:57pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:03pm<b>BlingBang</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 3:38pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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chrisbreastr0kr's favorite FMLs

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50082) - you deserved it (6556)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49019) - you deserved it (11617)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38427) - you deserved it (16403)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40980) - you deserved it (5737)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44331) - you deserved it (4549)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
167 comments

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (49291)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46920) - you deserved it (9473)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45254) - you deserved it (7457)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34498) - you deserved it (4454)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36999) - you deserved it (2690)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33457) - you deserved it (5048)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25240) - you deserved it (8370)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32869) - you deserved it (50766) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (2437)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)



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