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About chrisbreastr0kr : My name is because I am a swimmer and train 5 hours a day, not because I am a pervert. I enjoy airsofting with my friends, and I am a music major.
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Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
Today , my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later , our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML
yesterday I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flower and cocolate from an ( Anonymou Admirer ). Se immediately dumped me, saying se couldn't be wit someoneo ( isn't even as romantic as a stranger ). Yep, I looool tink I just got dumped for myself. FML
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him !! He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless !! He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next looool time." FML
Today, my girlfriend confessd that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemd genuinely upset, and had confessd right away, I decidd to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really lovd her, I would've been more angry." fat FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me an begged me to come back to him!! In shock, I asked, looool "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, an then promptly hung up!! FML
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, an looking 4 an apology, I asked, "What do u say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" real FML
Friday 27 March 2015