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chrisbreastr0kr

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chrisbreastr0kr

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3094
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About chrisbreastr0kr : My name is because I am a swimmer and train 5 hours a day, not because I am a pervert. I enjoy airsofting with my friends, and I am a music major.

chrisbreastr0kr's page activity

Visits<b>carliefrederick</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:15pm<b>harmonyluver</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:46pm<b>sam882</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:27am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 10:49am<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:21pm<b>FuentezFam</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:04pm<b>sailing_is_life</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 9:51pm<b>jks0308</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:24pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:50pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:52am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:28pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:00am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:57pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:03pm<b>BlingBang</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 3:38pm

chrisbreastr0kr's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of chrisbreastr0kr's badges

chrisbreastr0kr's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66797) - you deserved it (14090)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49355) - you deserved it (27755)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77834) - you deserved it (9364)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

#20618435
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45292) - you deserved it (5978)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84612) - you deserved it (4453)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58290) - you deserved it (8311)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML

#20603007
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54276) - you deserved it (6255)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

#20598610
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60582) - you deserved it (5860)

On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72639) - you deserved it (18860)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73091) - you deserved it (12885)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71045) - you deserved it (7477)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59554) - you deserved it (6699)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63994) - you deserved it (21100)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51043) - you deserved it (14299)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45791) - you deserved it (19247) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)



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