About chrisbreastr0kr : I spend about 5 hours training in the pool a day, 7 days a week, so that's why the name is there, cuz I'm Chris and Im a breastroker. I have a wonderful girlfriend and I often go airsofting with my friends, hence the profile pic.
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Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (16752) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (5886)
On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12008) - you deserved it (44784)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46619) - you deserved it (3249)
On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34994) - you deserved it (15532)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33398) - you deserved it (2306)
On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (5480)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34913) - you deserved it (5494)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52718) - you deserved it (4237)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (2434)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29551) - you deserved it (1607)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was denied a job because the guy interviewing me said that I was an illiterate blonde girl who used fake words like "plethora" and "viable". I told him I would leave, after he spelled the word "illiterate". He spelled it wrong and had me escorted from the premises. "Eeletterote" my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40043) - you deserved it (1876)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Nefi (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (4378)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States
Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32188) - you deserved it (1934)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (1884)
On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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