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chrisbreastr0kr

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chrisbreastr0kr

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 872
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About chrisbreastr0kr : My name is because I am a swimmer and train 5 hours a day, not because I am a pervert. I am engaged with my girlfriend of 7 years, and we are both Christians. I enjoy airsofting with my friends, and both of us are music majors.

chrisbreastr0kr's page activity

Visits<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:52am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:28pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:00am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:17pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:41am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:57pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:03pm<b>BlingBang</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 3:38pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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chrisbreastr0kr's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

#21111038
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (3500)

On 04/12/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by gullible (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38211) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49509) - you deserved it (9257)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49811) - you deserved it (7216)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51607) - you deserved it (3688)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

#20817205
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46374) - you deserved it (25289)

On 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by fuck but no fuck (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51704) - you deserved it (11172)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58297) - you deserved it (10384)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54515) - you deserved it (5240)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

#20813792
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44692) - you deserved it (7395)

On 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by -_____- (woman) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64855) - you deserved it (6583)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43314) - you deserved it (12586)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55327) - you deserved it (16822)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40969) - you deserved it (3371)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49889) - you deserved it (7000)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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