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Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (183367) - you totally deserved it (20242)
On 04/01/2009 at 9:44am - love - by twstedillusion (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220489) - you totally deserved it (244300)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to make a family tree for one of my classes. When I was going through it, I realized that both my parents have the same last name. So, I asked them about it and they told me that they are second cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (186671) - you totally deserved it (10787)
On 03/04/2009 at 3:52am - misc - by fam_surprise (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (264245) - you totally deserved it (14495)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:54am - intimacy - by yada (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (487652) - you totally deserved it (31057)
On 02/09/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
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