Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

chippa

Search for a member

chippa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10003
  • Number of comments : 525
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About chippa : Life is good.
Go with the flow.
Know your place.

I like to whistle, read, learn, pet cats, and memorize things, such as song lyrics, lines of movies or plays, and digits of pi.

I am taller than you.

The thing I would like to do most in life is travel in outer space.

chippa's page activity

Visits<b>2potato4u</b> - yesterday at 5:04pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:13pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:37pm<b>hopsinlove17</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Noxialis</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:10pm<b>danielle5561</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:32am<b>CJune24</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:02am<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:15am<b>jaxham19</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:27am<b>99volleyball99</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:30pm<b>RaVeStudios</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:23am<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:56pm<b>helloyoulizard</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:35am<b>teentee401</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:20am<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:48am<b>thischick113</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:05pm<b>NakMuayAdam</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:02pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:00pm

chippa's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of chippa's badges

chippa's favorite FMLs

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14814) - you deserved it (44432)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38656) - you deserved it (16942)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

#4960471
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (2372)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85537) - you deserved it (5113)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

#4837442
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47604) - you deserved it (4090)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67295) - you deserved it (4891)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15193) - you deserved it (49045)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45143) - you deserved it (11132)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76707) - you deserved it (23373)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (5699)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML

#632
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4377) - you deserved it (45004)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:14am - misc - by Simon - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (24301)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I am supposed to be doing my homework. Instead, I'm wasting my time on here. Yeah, it's kinda my fault. FML

#94
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13566) - you deserved it (100839)

On 10/27/2008 at 10:53am - misc - by me - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: