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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7783) - you deserved it (27800)
On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8694) - you deserved it (15896)
On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (1835)
On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States
Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (2958)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (2449)
On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (12290)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10702) - you deserved it (14449)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36400) - you deserved it (2101)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (6701)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25606) - you deserved it (12274)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34647) - you deserved it (5742)
On 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (3665)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28815) - you deserved it (4239)
On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6572) - you deserved it (44204)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (170862) - you deserved it (52076)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
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