About cherrio27 : so soccer's pretty cool...
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cherrio27's favorite FMLs
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
by FishFlingingMonkey / 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids
by anon / 07/27/2015 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by justin Bieber / 06/15/2015 at 10:49am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML
by Wrabel / 06/08/2015 at 12:00pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML
by .......... / 06/07/2015 at 5:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML
by iamfab / 06/06/2015 at 1:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML
by fugly / 06/05/2015 at 8:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 11:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 8:21am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy