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  • Title : Miss
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  • Number of visits : 646
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chchickens's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (16238)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31139) - you deserved it (2969) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12107) - you deserved it (43921)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28994) - you deserved it (7233)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8088) - you deserved it (36155)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (7991)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (3390)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by bethany - Australia

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39642) - you deserved it (7131)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64401) - you deserved it (7268)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML


I agree, your life sucks (263181) - you deserved it (34914)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16916) - you deserved it (94201)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

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