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chchickens

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  • Title : Miss
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  • Number of visits : 309
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chchickens's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (18117)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (18117)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (3064)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9766) - you deserved it (26181)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15300) - you deserved it (28772)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11196) - you deserved it (27135)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

#20049122
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16303) - you deserved it (8543)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8014) - you deserved it (29915)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

#19949441
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (4906)

On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

#19934341
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (2329)

On 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (2835)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (5662)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (5662)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (4167)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)



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