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chatoyant's favorite FMLs
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 8:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by psychoticbiatch / 04/08/2012 at 9:58am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
by Eliza / 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML
by BigBangCheater / 04/01/2012 at 6:08am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 8:21am / United States / Kids
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by Cheap N Happy / 02/17/2012 at 4:44am / United States / Love
by sharpie2792 / 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML
by FuckLife / 02/11/2012 at 8:41am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's okay, though; she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML
by justfriends / 02/09/2012 at 2:02pm / United States / Holidays
- Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one… Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back… Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan.…