chaos753159

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chaos753159

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2831
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About chaos753159 : I

chaos753159's page activity

Visits<b>Neevster</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 5:08pm<b>Haremjutsu</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 9:25am<b>DToast</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 2:47pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 2:48pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 8:26am<b>MeowntainMix</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 2:55pm<b>APHPrussia</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:46pm<b>stfuwtf</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:31am<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:52am<b>Pixelatedpotato</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:41pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:50am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:08pm<b>The_Majestique</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:26pm<b>GipsyFromSpace</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:50am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 6:04am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 4:01pm

Fucked!<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:27pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 7:36pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:15pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:08pm

chaos753159's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of chaos753159's badges

chaos753159's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

by Bewildered / 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 5:58am / New Zealand (Otago) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

by sexyfreak2510 / 09/03/2009 at 2:47am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

by Life of the party / 08/19/2009 at 1:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 3:02am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

by Cowan / 08/06/2009 at 8:27am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML

by PeterRabit / 07/25/2009 at 11:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

by whitewater_al / 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

by silvercity09 / 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous